


just you, only you.

by yojin (MnM_PD)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, M/M, futakuchi perspective, i didn't realize i have no published work for oifuta, lapslock, oifuta tag is so dry so fuck it imma do it myself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 10:52:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18548314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MnM_PD/pseuds/yojin
Summary: i’ve always read literature about a person kissing somebody while thinking of somebody else. then there are also written works about someone wishing that the one they are kissing isn’t thinking of a person that aren’t them.is that really possible? is it possible not to be so in love with somebody that you have to think of another person while you kiss them?in my case with you, it’s never going to happen. whenever i kiss you, you’re all i see, you’re all i smell, you’re all i taste, you’re all i hear, you’re all i feel. you’re all that i think about. so why would i need to think of someone else?





	just you, only you.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [3x3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/3x3/gifts).



> rare that in my actual drafts i have no notes in the beginning so that means i was Sure of this fic. but anyway, i've been shipping oifuta for years now and is now just publishing one (1) fic about them. i had one published on wattpad b4 but it was R rated??? and it didn't fit in that site or i got too insecure about it that i just deleted it.
> 
> but! i found my weeaboo side again after all the kdrama/kpop, so here i am.
> 
> edit: this is a gift 4 my fave hq rarepair author bc it’s the only thing i can offer to a god that blesses me with things i need and don’t need. :’)))

back then when we barely knew each other, you were so vexing, and irritating, and annoying. you made me  _furious_  a fuck ton. i knew i should keep my guards up when you’re around, especially when you have a personality that is so tiring. you spit out witty and sarcastic things so easily with your sharp tongue, but with those, you have an honest mouth.

 

first time we met, you teased me a lot when we were merely strangers, and i always wondered where you get that huge air of confidence you always bring together with your posture. is it your leadership skills? is it your volleyball skills? is it your pretty face? is it the amazing hair? is it the conditioner you use for your hair to be that nice? or is it just because you’re Oikawa Tooru? the perfect guy anyone could dream of having as anything, but other than as a friend, because you’re a great deal in the ass as a friend.

 

you were beautiful, and i admitted that to myself pretty fast when i saw you face to face. i thought it was just the photoshop that made you so stunning in photos, or that you were just really photogenic in the video clips, but in real life you still have that gorgeous shiny hair, flawless skin, and charming practiced smile for those you don’t know well enough. in all honesty, i was slightly intimidated by you at first because you seemed so untouchable. you have a constant glow while just standing, and you glow even more as you play as the setter. you made my joints freeze in heavy tension and insecurity, but when you opened your mouth, it reminded me that no one can absolutely be perfect because your personality was shit, and you can be a total asshole in a split second without you even trying.

 

maybe i hated you because we have some petty similarities. you’re smart, sarcastic, and hot, and i am those three as well, but it sucks that you’re more popular and skilled than i am. though despite you, being a bitch, i liked you. you were easy and fun to converse with even if your snarky attitude clashes with mine at times. you showed me that underneath all that glamour as a daunting team’s captain and setter with a physique of a model, you were a pleasing company. a very charming man but with a peskiness at the side.

 

it hurts to acknowledge the thought but i adored you. i looked up to you, envied you, admired you. i strongly believed that it was not romantically, but when you’ve beaten me on mario kart consecutively five times one night in my room and kissed my cheek as a joke to take my frown away, it made me doubt that thought.

 

my chest ached and i was so flustered that i couldn’t clearly remember anything that happened, but i do remember a moment where my head stopped pounding with continuous anxious thoughts. it was like a breath of fresh air.

 

you pecked my lips, so gentle, so careful and you slowly parted with me to give me a small smile. then you asked me if it was my first kiss with a boy. in a daze, i could only nod, then your cheeks flushed into a soft pink color, almost not visible due to the bad lighting coming from the screen. then with the shyest voice, you said it was your first too.

 

after that first kiss, then came a second, and immediately came a third. then so on. i’m not exactly sure when we started to not stop at just connecting our lips and then parting immediately. i also could not recall of who initiated it; was it you who opened your mouth first, or was it me who tried to part yours? i don’t really care for the details anymore, because when i’m kissing you, you’re all i care about.

 

my mind keeps on going and going like a stupid broken record:  _you, you, you, you_.

 

there is you engulfing my thoughts and senses so effortlessly like a black hole i volunteered to get into. _just you, only you_.

 

i could only see you; your face, your lashes, your body. i could only smell your favorite perfume that smells like the ocean breeze combined with your own scent. i could only taste your lips that are coated with your strawberry flavored chapstick. i could only hear your murmurs, your inhales and exhales, your softest moans. i could only feel you. your warmth, your skin against mine, your existence embracing me and tainting me.

 

i could only think of you. there is just you, only you. you‘re the only one that matters.

 

that’s why i always wonder about those authors who wrote about kissing someone while they think of somebody else. it sounds so impossible to me because when you kiss me, it’s like you’re sucking off all my attention and awareness on everything else. my world gets reduced to nothing and you are the only real thing i can feel. how is it that for others, it’s not the same sensations? or maybe it’s me? maybe i— maybe i have this,  _this much feelings_  about you?

 

you have all my senses focused on you, you got them addicted to you like you’re a drug i can’t get enough fill of, and i wondered about you. do we feel the same? do you go through the similar strange sensations i go through? then in a short while after i started to learn about what i feel for you, i learned the answer to that question.

 

you were breathless as i kissed you that night, chest rising and falling in desperation for air, face flushed fully red, muscles tensed, pupils dilated, lips parted.  _then you whispered a name that isn’t mine_.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i pretended i didn’t hear.

 

 

 

i’ve seen a poem before about a person wishing, begging, pleading for someone to not think of somebody else as they are kissing, and i chuckled at how foolish it seemed. they sound desperate. then now, i still laugh at the thought of that situation, and i still do think it is foolish, because i  _am_  laughable, i  _am_  foolish, i  _am—_

 

it makes me shake my head in disbelief.

look at me, look at you, look at us.

we have become a cliché that i’ve clowned and hated on for so, so many times.

isn’t it comical?

 

i did say that back then when we barely knew each other, you were so vexing, and irritating, and annoying. you made me  _furious_  a fuck ton. i knew i should be guarded when you’re around.

 

and you still are so vexing, irritating, and annoying. you still make me furious a fuck ton. i  _know_  that i should  _still_  keep my guards up whenever you’re around. but your tiring personality was endearing, your witty banter was comforting, your touch was sweet and beguiling.

 

so i’d still keep up the act even if i barely know you. i’d move forward with the beautiful practiced smile you never stopped showing me. i’d continue to pretend i don’t hear anything whenever you mutter his name.

 

because it’s for you.

because it’s you. _  
_

just you, only you.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you never  
> think of another  
> while you kiss me  
> \- Komal Kapoor
> 
> someone posted that ^ on IG and i was trying to go back to my roots recently and want to write an oifuta fic so instead of my kpop ships, i got triggered by that line for oifuta. :’)))
> 
> i love this tho (bc i haven’t re-read it yet, surely once i’ve read this shit, i’d be Disappointed w myself as always).
> 
> thank u for reading !! <3


End file.
